The only person who can really know that what you’re doing isn’t working is you. You’re the one who has to try and get yourself to sleep at night. No one else can do that for you. All those things that keep churning over in your mind may be hard to silence. The missed opportunities, the regrets, the sadnesses, the grief, the what ifs. In times of loss the noise we create inside our heads can become very loud. At some point it might become unbearable and you might need some help because what you are doing isn’t working. Or maybe it’s what you’re not doing that is not helping.
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How long does the ‘new toy’ feeling last?
It can feel exciting to get a ‘new toy’, whatever that ‘toy’ may be for you. Maybe it’s a new car that you just can’t stop admiring or a new gadget that you can’t put down. All these new things can help to break the monotony that can creep into our lives unnoticed and/or provide a welcome break from feelings of stress or anxiety. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It can become problematic, however, when we can’t enjoy or value what we have because we are worried about what we don’t have or what we want next.
Have you noticed that you are constantly looking for the next thing to make yourself feel ok? Are you finding it hard to sit with your feelings or find a way to live in a fulfilling way? If you feel that you could benefit from some help with figuring out how you would like your life to be, maybe therapy could help.
All of a sudden I’m feeling blue
Sometimes it feels that life is going really well. You feel fairly good about yourself. You have stopped beating yourself up about the things that you don’t get right and you might have started accepting yourself. Liking yourself even. Maybe your relationships are going quite well and even work doesn’t feel too bad. You seem to be able to do the things you want to and feel like you have some control over your life. And then one day you wake up and things feel so different. You notice tears rolling down your face. It’s hard to get up. You want the world to leave you alone. Out of nowhere. The sun doesn’t seem to shine so brightly. You look around and wonder what it’s all about. Worse still the people around you might be very unsympathetic. Not this again.
Why do I feel bad about not putting up with people who are no good for me?
There are a lot of articles online about ‘toxic’ people and ‘toxic’ relationships. Sometimes I nod my head in agreement as I read them but there are times when I pause and reflect on what ‘toxic’ means and what a damaging and convenient label it can be. My understanding of toxic is anything that damages me in some way. It’s easy to see how a poor diet or lack of exercise can be harmful to our wellbeing. However, what about if the source of damage is in your family. What then?
[Read more…] about Why do I feel bad about not putting up with people who are no good for me?
Social Anxiety……it’s never too late to change
by CBT Therapist, Leamington Spa, Warwickshire
‘I can’t win. It’s like there is a barrier between me and other people. I’d love to join in and make friends but I can’t. If other people knew what I was like they wouldn’t want to know me. They would soon find out how anxious I am. I would probably say the wrong thing and people would think I am stupid. It’s best if I don’t even try.’ [Read more…] about Social Anxiety……it’s never too late to change
Is it me?
Do you ever have an ‘is it me’ day? The kind of day where you feel unappreciated or used and feel that other people, either at home or work, are acting in a self-interested, judgemental or unfair way. It’s easy for these feelings to spiral and it’s possible that you may find yourself withdrawing or arguing. It might feel challenging to find a way to live around those who only think of themselves.