It’s a wonderful thing to find something that helps us. It can change the way we view ourselves, our relationships, the world and life in general. However, what works for me might not work for you and that is why asking someone else to tell you what to do can be really unhelpful. Counselling is one of those things that can change your life. It can work on so many levels. It can help you to understand and accept yourself. It can help you to understand your relationships and why you might keep repeating some unhelpful behaviours. It might help you to improve relationships with your partner, your family, your friends and work colleagues. Or it might simply be the only place where you can really be you and work through all those things that you don’t want to tell anyone else about. How often do we have the experience of starting to tell a family member or friend something before they jump in with their own story, say something silencing like ‘tell me about it’ or simply not care enough to engage and listen?
General Data Protection Regulations (GDPR) will be introduced on 25th May, 2018 and will apply to all businesses that collect any personal information from you. Even though this is causing me some headaches at the moment in terms of figuring out the guidance and trying to make sense of a lot of conflicting information on the internet, I believe GDPR is a good thing. Listening to the news recently and hearing about how companies can misuse our data is concerning. Data is valuable and precious and some companies may misuse it, for example by selling it or using it to harass you. It’s not a great experience to be besieged by spam email from someone who has managed to obtain an email address which you had freely given for an entirely different purpose.
Do you ever have an ‘is it me’ day? The kind of day where you feel unappreciated or used and feel that other people, either at home or work, are acting in a self-interested, judgemental or unfair way. It’s easy for these feelings to spiral and it’s possible that you may find yourself withdrawing or arguing. It might feel challenging to find a way to live around those who only think of themselves.
There are a lot of articles online about ‘toxic’ people and ‘toxic’ relationships. Sometimes I nod my head in agreement as I read them but there are times when I pause and reflect on what ‘toxic’ means and what a damaging and convenient label it can be. My understanding of toxic is anything that damages me in some way. It’s easy to see how a poor diet or lack of exercise can be harmful to our wellbeing. However, what about if the source of damage is in your family. What then?
We’re nicely settled into the New Year now. It’s already February. January with all its promise of new beginnings seems so long ago. And what are we left with? Ourselves, as always.
Motivational speakers seem to be everywhere at the moment. Around every corner I turn there’s another, and they are all wearing slightly different hats to promote new trends. It’s starting to feel exhausting trying to take on all these messages: be a winner, detoxify your life, get rid of those toxic friends, eat clean and so on. The subtext is always the same: there’s something wrong with what you are doing. Another reason to beat yourself up, if that’s how you find yourself spending your time. Watching a glossy webinar about how to get your life back on track doesn’t always cut the mustard. It can make you feel like ‘that’ lifestyle is so unattainable that you might as well crawl back under the duvet with a tub of ice-cream.
I recently read something online (sorry, I can’t remember the source). It involved two people discussing relationships and one said something along the lines of “don’t bother arguing, just say ‘you’re right'”. The other person was unconvinced and protested that stating an opinion and arguing until the other person accepted, or at least acknowledged it, was the right approach. The first person carried on walking and simply said “you’re right”. It still makes me laugh.