Do you need to ‘fix’ people?

Sometimes it can be really hard to stand by and watch people you care about make mistakes.  The urge to jump in and tell them what to do can be overwhelming.  The need to ‘fix’ someone may come from genuine concern.  On the other hand it can be perceived as controlling and interfering.  If you find yourself in situations where you feel frustrated because other people won’t listen to your advice maybe you could ask yourself whose needs you are trying to meet.  Do you see yourself as caring and it is important that others allow you to ‘care’?  It might be helpful to reflect on times in your life when you have learnt the most.  Did this involve someone telling you what to do?  Or did it involve you learning through trial and error?  How do you feel when others advise you what to do?  Do you find yourself avoiding them when you don’t take their advice?  Do you wish you hadn’t bothered telling them about your problems?

Now imagine that you stopped trying to ‘fix’ other people and respected them enough to allow them to reach their own decisions.  That would mean letting go of having a right answer.  Think about how respected you would feel if someone did that for you.  Allowed you to process your thoughts and feelings without putting any pressure on you to do what they wanted.  Counselling allows people to do precisely that.  And counselling also helps people who find they need to ‘fix’ others too.