It’s a very disappointing feeling to realise someone is not who you thought they were. Depending on how much they meant to you it can be a huge loss. It can be painful trying to reconfigure who you are now and how you could have got it so wrong. I’m often left feeling that some people just want to take all the blame for how their relationships turn out. It’s hard for them to remember that other people were involved in the relationship too. Maybe being in the wrong is a familiar and comfortable territory.
If you are experiencing a ‘you’re not who I thought you were’ moment then it can be good to talk. It can help to gain a new perspective and to stop beating yourself up.