How often has someone said to you when you are feeling down that you need to ‘move on’. It’s often said after a relationship breakdown or a job loss or bereavement. I wonder how helpful you have found it to hear that?
When we are in pain and grieving it can be really hard to ‘move on’. In fact moving on will mean different things to each of us. I would probably rank it up there with ‘pull yourself together’ as an unhelpful thing to say to someone distressed.
Our lives are characterised by loss and it is part of our normal life cycle. We process our losses in different ways and experience a range of feelings. We may feel ashamed about some of these feelings. We might worry about feeling angry towards someone who has died for leaving us to cope on our own. We might be worried that we are not normal to feel this way and that others would not understand and judge us.
So what can help us to ‘move on’…
- Counselling can help. It can help to talk about how we are feeling because it can help us to understand why we are feeling as we are. It can help us to explore any ‘unfinished business’ we may have and to look at what is getting in the way of ‘moving on’.
- Keeping a journal can help to process emotions. Many people find writing to be a cathartic process.
- Being compassionate to yourself. Stop saying ‘I should………’ and start being kind to you. If you’ve suffered a loss then there is an adjustment process to go through and this takes time and is normal.
Do get in touch if you need some help to get your life back on track after a loss. It can be a lonely time.
Copyright Christine Bonsmann. All rights reserved.